Who to see at Coachella when you’re not going 

We are nowhere near Indio, California. We are also nowhere near important enough to be getting ‘chella tickets nor are we rich enough to buy our own.

But, if we were going who would we see? Everyone can dream, right?

So, I present to you, 24 random acts that I would absolutely go see at Coachella if I was in Cali with a sexy Coachella ticket.

  1. LCD. Speaks for its damn self, it’s LCD. Don’t be precious over their legacy just be happy they’re playing.
  2. A$AP Rocky. I’ve never seen he of beautiful braids live and would like to.
  3. Anderson. Pak. Smooth as a motherfucker.
  4. DJ Mustard
  5. Despacio. This sound-porn creation of James Murphy and 2ManyDJs was a huge hit at Electric Picnic last year.
  6. Flume
  7. G-Easy
  8. Ibeyi. Beautiful voices, beautiful gals.
  9. Ice Cube. It’s Ice Cube.
  10. Joey Bada$$
  11. Mano Le Tough. Le Tough is Irish, support your own and all that.
  12. Nina Kraviz. Good for a bop.
  13. Young Fathers. I’ve seen them 3 times at this stage and every gig is so powerful and energetic, they are amazing live.
  14. Years & Years. I have a soft spot for these guys. “Eyes Shut” makes me emosh.
  15. SZA.
  16. Rae Sremmurd. You gotta see the Sremmlife live at least once in your life. Rae Sremmurd’s Dublin show was the most fun and lit gig I’ve been to in years.
  17. Underworld. If you don’t acknowledge Born Slippy as one of the best songs ever made, don’t talk to me, bye.
  18. Vince Staples
  19. The 1975. Stylish and usually drunk.
  20. Sia. That voice live could be magnificent.
  21. Skepta.
  22. Run The Jewels. No explanation needed.
  23. Shamir. When everyone is minus you can call him multiply.
  24. Savages. Good fun.

So there it is. Now, stick these artists on in your headphones, get a few pineapples and inflatable palm trees and boom, you’re at Coachella. Please don’t wear flower crowns or a Native American headdress whilst doing so. And don’t wear them if you’re in Indio either.

 

Big fan of this ‘chella snail dude

 

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